As much as I am an analyzing fanatic, I have somehow begun to feel a bit more at ease without the aforementioned phenomena. I write lists (I have a checkered notebook in front of me as I typ this and it's getting in the way of the keyboard) I cross things off the lists. "Bangle", "back up files (one that is on going for a year now), eyes (kev's payment), etc..But I am allowing myself to absorb life as it comes without too many tweakings and workings. Yes the mind races and the daily reminders of, "breathe spaces" are what keep me in check most of the time, but somehow I feel lighter and more comfortable.
More than ever I feel on a very unstable ground, but more then ever before I feel more comfortable in a situation like that. What can I do about it?
I pride myself in being responsible and I think that will never leave me, so without being careless I let myself live.
I went over to Marissa's blog and found some of her yet again profound, simple and so true statements. I leave this one as a reminder for myself:
“Part of the delicate dance we learn in our life is how to find happiness in the times between the dream and the realization of that dream, a place I will call the space between. Because what you come to realize is that this is where you actually live, every day, in the space between.”
and one more:
"There are always those times where you gear up and put action and effort into the direction you are wanting to go, and the trick is recognizing the subtle difference between those times and the times when you need to let go and trust that you’ll know the next step. These are also the moments when you become a hopeful, appreciative observer of the magic of your life, especially in the space between."
Ah yes..
I also want to leave a trace of my big joy from yesterday. This is the reason I create, so I can be alone in the studio and yelp in excitement, in the simplicity but such beauty of something that came from my head and made its way into a 3d format. I am happy when this happens.